welcome home, starling

you are safe now

Litany of Apologies for the Sad Days

Litany of Apologies for the Sad Days

I am grasping at                                                       

        your hand and you see, there’s this cliff. It appears in my bedroom every night and I wander to the edge. There’s something at the very end.

        A god perhaps. Or a man who prays for the world to end.

I want to reach inside and –

                    Is this microphone working? Can you hear me when I say: I am sorry for waltzing in here and ruining Everything.

                    Maybe you can’t hear me over the sound of my heart, flayed and gasping.

        It’s okay. I can wait. I’ve been waiting for days

                    to ask you what you think.

        Is that normal? Is this normal?

Oh. It’s raining. It’s always raining when I’m sad.

I lost the thread of our conversation again but

           I don’t want to apologize


So I close my eyes for a minute and look over the edge.

        But there isn’t enough time to say goodbye.

                                Darling, I’m absolutely dripping sorrow. You know, I wish someone                               would tell me when it will happen. So I never have to wonder again.

It’s okay, darling. Nothing matters as much as the rain flooding my bedroom.

I want to reach inside my chest and squeeze.



Grieving Song

Grieving Song