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The Northern Diaries: Goodbye, Autumn. Goodbye, Winter.

The Northern Diaries: Goodbye, Autumn. Goodbye, Winter.

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to kiss goodbye from something or someone you love. My preference of living has switched from warm beach towns to cold seaside northern countries or quaint villages by the Alps. As my study in Switzerland came to an end, I must comply to the law of returning to my home country. Terrifying thoughts such as having to succumb the humidity and the heat that I could never stand, having to deal with narrow-minded people, and worst of all, having to live in the same city with the people who once destroyed my pride and sanity.

I spent last of couple of weeks before I return to my home country with my best friend who lives in Milan. I thought that it would be a rather needed adjustment because it was similar to my hometown: bustling, humid and hot. As someone who is very close to me, she sensed my unease and took me a beautiful, quiet lake, about an hour’s train ride away from the city, to take my mind off things.

Being outdoors in nature always puts me in a tranquil state of mind. Perhaps it was amplified by the wine, perhaps it was first and last time that I got the chance sunbathe topless. Whatever it was, for the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy and liberated.

I was always this person who could see the good side in everything, the positivity in unfortunate and upsetting events. My fear of having to go back to a country where freedom of expression is almost non-existent, turned me into a bitter, miserable girl.

An old flame who lives in my hometown constantly reminded and comforted me that it wouldn’t be so bad. Sure, I could no longer retain my habit of casual sex and could no longer spontaneously hop on a plane and fly to random European countries. But if I could open my eyes and let my heart and mind to see the good things in everything, like how I usually do, it could be rather enjoyable.

As I kissed goodbye to the cold, a gentle and familiar flame was reignited. My reluctance to go back to my hometown was gradually replaced by the anticipation to embrace the old lover in my arms. That was when realised that the cold is not the only thing that brings me joy. The heat could be not too bad, as long as you found the right flame to reignite.

Film Selections 06: Heat

Film Selections 06: Heat

Film Selections 05: Journey

Film Selections 05: Journey